The fun is in the foreplay

Maybe you’ve heard the expression that when it comes to getting aroused, women are like ovens and men are like microwaves. For men, that means that if you want to turn a woman on, you have to build in time/foreplay to get her at the same level of arousal you can achieve within seconds.

Studies show that the amount of time is a minimum of 20 minutes, but it can start with little thoughtful hints throughout the day. While men are visual creatures, women respond more to audio and tactile cues. Light touches and other signs of physical affection throughout the day can help build trust, intimacy, and anticipation for a sexual encounter later that day.

“If you want to turn a woman on, you have to build in foreplay”

When it’s time, make sure you’ve eliminated any distractions that could break the mood. Stow away clutter and turn phones on silent. Set the mood further by dimming the lights, lighting candles, turning on romantic or fun music. Stash condoms and lube somewhere convenient so they’re handy when you’re both ready.

Then, start with a lingering kiss on the lips, and along her neck and shoulders. Tease her by being close and holding back. Run your hands down her arms and back. Press against each other with your clothes on. Women can achieve higher levels of arousal than men, but it might take a little longer to get there and it doesn’t need to focus solely on her genitals or breasts.

Whisper in her ear. Ask her what she wants. Ask her if she likes what you’re doing. Pull her close to you. Let her peel your clothes off when she’s ready, layer by layer. Keep building up the anticipation. It’s unlikely that there’s such a thing as too much foreplay.

Once things are super heated, break out the lube. Apply generously to your fingers and hand, to her clitoris, and around her labia. Stimulate her clitoris with a combination of oral and digital manipulation.

“Men are usually finished after their first orgasm, but women are capable of multiple orgasms”

Slowly insert your middle finger into her vagina, keeping your palm face up. Curl your fingertip and perform a “come hither” motion with your finger on the frontal wall of her vagina.

While you don’t want to provide overstimulation, after a few minutes, you should be able to add another finger and test out a variety of other stimulation techniques in order to keep her aroused and interested. How will you know when it’s time? As women become more aroused, her vaginal wall will swell. This swelling will let you know she’s ready for more stimulation and getting closer to climax.

--PULSE--

Moving deeper inside her, locate her g-spot (a spongy structure, anywhere from the size of dime to the size of a quarter when stimulated) about 2-3 inches within her vagina, and take note of its location because you’ll need easy access for the tip below.

You may be focused on bringing your partner to climax, but don’t let that be the main goal. Instead, focus on the overall experience and let her pleasure and climax be a byproduct of the encounter. Men find it hard to understand how women become aroused, because its so different from men.